Episode 16: The Gift of Margins: Creating Work-Life Balance as a Private Pay Therapist with Shayla Peterson
Finding Your Balance in a Busy World
Hey everyone, it's Ashley from the Raised to Empower podcast. I'm thrilled to share some insights from our fabulous recent episode featuring the amazing Shayla Peterson. Shayla is a powerhouse—licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and owner of Control, Shift, Balance Mental Wellness. We're diving deep into how to harness self-prioritization, achieve work-life balance, and the critical importance of boundaries.
The Journey to Self-Prioritization
Shayla’s journey to her powerhouse position is truly inspiring. After moving states due to her husband's military career, she pivoted professionally in an empowering way. She started her own private online practice, leveraging courses like the one by Amber Leiter to successfully steer her practice away from insurance dependency.
Her story spotlights the importance of self-prioritization—an essential theme for working moms and therapists. Shayla's approach is a breath of fresh air in a world that often demands women spread themselves too thin. Her message? It's okay to put yourself first. In fact, it's necessary. Her journey is a testament to making mindful decisions to not only nurture yourself but to also positively influence those around you.
The Essence of Balance: Life-Work and Beyond
Shayla champions the concept of "life-work balance," a reframe that emphasizes life first. Balancing work and life isn't merely about splitting time; it's about aligning your roles to support your well-being. Shayla's personal routine is a perfect example. She dedicates early mornings for what she calls "balance time," incorporating stretching, meditation, reading, and journaling. This sets a positive tone for her day and reinforces her commitment to taking care of herself before anyone else—even clients.
Another critical aspect Shayla highlights is the importance of daily breaks and rest. It might sound simple, but carving out time to sit outside with a drink, just to disconnect from work and rejuvenate, can make a world of difference.
Practical Tips for Overwhelmed Moms
One thing Shayla emphasizes passionately is simplifying the task list. For working and entrepreneurial moms, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Her golden rule? Focus on the top three tasks daily. This way, you manage stress better, and celebrate small wins, which is incredibly empowering.
Moreover, Shayla’s advice about creating margins in your day is pure gold. Leave space for the unexpected. Life, especially with kids, is unpredictable, and having these built-in buffers can switch you from a reactive to a proactive mindset.
The BALANCE Framework: A Blueprint for Well-Being
Shayla introduced us to her fantastic "BALANCE" framework, and it’s truly a game-changer. Here's how it breaks down:
B - Boundary
Set limits that protect your time and energy.A - Acknowledge
Be honest with yourself about your feelings.L - Let Go
Release tasks that don’t require your attention.A - Align
Make sure your actions reflect your core values.N - Non-Judgment
Accept your emotions and situations without criticism.C - Cultivate Compassion
Be kind to yourself, especially during tough times.E - Envision
Visualize a balanced life and take steps daily.
This framework isn’t just theory; it’s practical and actionable. It helps in making conscious decisions that align with your priorities, without falling into the pit of self-judgment—a common trap for many of us.
Empowering Through Entrepreneurship
Shayla also shared how moving into digital entrepreneurship—like her courses and membership programs—has helped her create more balance. It's not just about diversifying income streams, but also about giving oneself the freedom to step back from one-on-one intensity when needed. This shift has provided her with a more flexible schedule, which is essential for personal well-being.
Margins for Mental Well-being
We cannot stress enough the need for margins. As therapists and moms, the emotional labor involved demands extra downtime. Shayla's methods, like networking for referrals and consulting online, show that creativity isn't just reserved for our clients; we need to apply it to our professional lives too.
Final Words: Embrace Your Independence
We wrapped up the episode discussing the power of independence. Shayla's journey to self-employment isn’t just about career success; it's about owning your choices and crafting a professional life that serves your personal needs and values. This sense of autonomy is incredibly empowering, not just as a professional, but as a mother and partner.
Connect and Flourish
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Connect with Shayla on Instagram (@ctrlshiftbalance), and explore her "Hey Sis" book for more self-reflection exercises. We’re also here at Raised to Empower to provide continuous support. Join our Facebook community, share the podcast, and let’s continue making steps towards a balanced, empowered life.
Stay empowered, Ashley
Transcript for Episode 16
[00:00:00] Ashley Comegys: You are listening to the Raised to Empower podcast. I'm your host, Ashley Comegys, a licensed clinical social worker with a multi-state online therapy practice. I have a passion for empowering women and mom therapists to break free of the fear, overwhelm, and oppressive systems that hold them back from taking action and building the private practice of their dreams.
[00:00:23] My goal is for you to boldly believe in yourself as a clinician and business owner. If you're looking for a place to learn, practice, building, strategy and skill, while also claiming your own power as a woman and a therapist, then you are in the right place. Welcome to the show. Hey, listeners, I am very privileged and excited to have my guest on the show today.
[00:00:48] She's a colleague and a friend and someone that I have come to learn. More about and know really well over the last few years. My guest today is Shayla Peterson. [00:01:00] She is a psychotherapist and the owner of Control Shift, balance Mental Wellness, and co-founder of the Thele Society. Shayla's mission is to help women achieve a healthy work-life balance while making a greater impact and increasing their income.
[00:01:15] Through her own personal journey, Shayla discovered the benefits of prioritizing herself and wants to inspire other women to do the same in all areas of life. When she's not in a therapy room, Shayla can be found empowering others through her journal. Jesus sis, 40 days of encouragement and self-reflection, teaching professional and personal development course, or spending quality time with her family at the beach.
[00:01:38] Shayla, welcome to the show. I'm so excited to have you here today.
[00:01:42] Shayla Peterson: Thank you for having me, Ashley. I'm excited to be here to, to give
[00:01:46] Ashley Comegys: a little backstory for those who are listening. So Shayla and I lived, I think at the time I was in Louisiana. Maybe you were in Tennessee when we first, I think I was in South Carolina then South Carolina.
[00:01:58] Okay. It was [00:02:00] only a couple months ago, like literally maybe two months ago that we finally met in person. But we have been. Therapy friends for like four-ish years and we met through Instagram back when we were both starting our practices and have come full circle to where we are today. And ironically, we live 10 minutes from each other now,
[00:02:19] Shayla Peterson: so I know.
[00:02:20] That is crazy. Yeah, I think we definitely have to have that conversation with Amber as well of like, you know what we connected, um Yeah. Via your program and ig and here we are living just minutes away from each other where we can. Have dinner and talk all the things, entrepreneurship, motherhood, post-military life, or you know, all the things are military life, um, which is all just a special thing within itself.
[00:02:44] All of these things.
[00:02:46] Ashley Comegys: Yeah. So I always start off asking guests how they got to where they are. You, you wear many hats, but you are. Licensed clinical social worker, the therapists. You have other kind of [00:03:00] entrepreneurial endeavors that are part of that. So like how did you get into the field of social work and therapy and what kind of led you
[00:03:07] there?
[00:03:08] Shayla Peterson: Yeah, so it's so funny cuz I still remember being a kid and saying like, on the playground, I was like, yeah, I'm going to be a doctor. You know, I'm gonna get a doctorate in psychology and I'm gonna be a therapist and I'm gonna help people. Right? And if you have a conversation with any of my friends that go, Sheila was always talking about relationships and people and different things, and they were like so annoyed by this.
[00:03:29] They just wanted to be kids. And clearly I missed the memo. Um, and I remember thinking like, okay, I'm gonna have to go to school for a couple of years, um, to get this doctorate in, you know, psychology or whatever it may be. And I, um, got a bachelor's in psychology at Cal State University Long Beach. And then I realized, I was like, wait a minute.
[00:03:51] There's a social work degree. Mm-hmm. And I could provide therapy and get license and all the things. And I was like, you, I don't have [00:04:00] to get a doctorate. Not that anything's wrong with it, but the idea of just like going to school just Yeah. For years and. I was all for it, you know, and so I've worked in foster family agencies, I worked for d c s, you know, I've worked in private practice, group private practices, and it's really been a blessing because, um, when my husband and I got married, we met in college, but when we got married, of course he's in the military.
[00:04:24] So we've been moving. All around. But getting the degree in social work was a game changer for me, um, and getting licensed because it allowed me to move around with ease with my husband's career and still make sure that I prioritize my goals, my career, and the things that I wanted to do to help and fulfill my purpose.
[00:04:44] And so, um, that's kind of just like how it is. And. I've worked with, like I said, different people and most the group that I really enjoy working with is women. Mm-hmm. Um, I mean, when we say professional women, that's really broad, but in a sense those women who are just like go-getters, you know, [00:05:00] they're ambitious.
[00:05:01] Um, they may have their own business, they may be running a corporate office. Yeah. Sometimes they have children, sometimes they don't, but they're going after it and sometimes they have some of that anxiety inside and they just need to like push to do some of those. Things or to realize how powerful they are.
[00:05:15] Yeah. And so that has been really great. As I read, empower women Empower women behind
[00:05:20] Ashley Comegys: this. Yes, yes, exactly. That's like my mantra. That is, that's my my part. So I know we share in common, we've collected licenses over the years as military spouses. When did you start? To say, I wanna do my own private practice.
[00:05:37] And then I think you started completely online too. Mm-hmm. When you went that route, what was a turning point for you to say, it's time to do my own
[00:05:46] Shayla Peterson: thing? So I would say it started when I was in Tennessee, so I was part of a group practice there. And then actually I was the assistant director and I knew we weren't gonna be there long, right?
[00:05:57] Military life. We knew we were gonna have to leave. [00:06:00] And I remember when leaving there, I was like, oh, it'll be great if I can still work with you guys, but online. Yeah. Yeah. And we just couldn't really figure it out. So anyhow, I moved to South Carolina. Um, I got licensed there before we even moved there. So yet again here, another license.
[00:06:16] Right. And uh, and I was just like, okay, I really wanna do my own thing eventually. Um, but I do not wanna take insurance. I was like, I do not wanna take insurance. I just wanna have a private practice. And then, um, I ran into Amber Lek. She had like a whole video on how to have an online private practice, and this was in 2019.
[00:06:37] And then that video was so informative. I was like, I need structure. That was just like a 90 minute video. And then I saw she had a course. Yeah. And so I took that eight week course and I think before six weeks I was up and running and had clients already coming, and I was working with my ideal clients.
[00:06:52] Mm-hmm. And it was just a game changer. And then of course, everybody wasn't privy to like online therapy either. Right. Before that time, that [00:07:00] was like, it was almost as if we were speaking of something unheard of. They're like, right, you don't have an office for me to come to. No, we're gonna meet online.
[00:07:07] I'm gonna send you a link. And I was like, I guarantee you gonna like it. Let's try it out. You know, at this point Yeah. You're like, uh, therapeutically selling them on something. Yeah. And it turned out, um, really well. And so here I am, but this would be four years, this July coming up that I've been in private practice and serving women who are experiencing, um, anxiety with my licenses in the different states that I've collected from being a military spouse, as I said, yeah.
[00:07:32] There's some people who intentionally wanna get different licenses. That wasn't my plan. Right. It happened cuz we moved around. And so now I also teach other clinicians. Um, I also have a course on that too, of just like how to navigate multiple licensure, how to keep up with your right hours, you know, and how to even market because it's more than just, I want to serve this new state too, you know?
[00:07:54] Right. Oh, for
[00:07:56] Ashley Comegys: sure. Have you found that being on your own [00:08:00] and like doing your own thing? For me, it's so empowering, right? Like going back to that piece where I can point to this thing and be like, it's mine. I've done this, I've created this thing. For you as a mom, as a military spouse, did you find that it.
[00:08:16] Shifted things for you lifestyle wise or balance wise? Do you feel like having the online practice or working for yourself has given you the opportunity to have more balance in your life, or has that been a hard thing to navigate?
[00:08:33] Shayla Peterson: No. And one of the things I, I was just thinking too is just like balance has always been in the storefront.
[00:08:40] Mm-hmm. I've left jobs because they really weren't promoting balance, even though they may have said it. Right. And so I even when I was, um, the assistant director with the group practice, I didn't work Fridays and I was very clear about my schedule days that I was off, or I was like, Hey, the daycare is [00:09:00] closed.
[00:09:00] I'm not coming in. Yeah. Don't schedule with anybody on that day. Or if my child was sick, I would pick her up, you know, come back to the office and go, I'm gonna finish this into the half of the day, and then can we call and cancel the rest of my client? So I've always been very clear about what my priority was, essentially with my husband being in the military because, well, he can't leave.
[00:09:19] He can't leave on post. Yeah. Right, right. Or he's deployed or any of those things. So that has always been a priority. And then moving into South Carolina, I found a job that allowed me to have that flexibility as well, but I still desired to have my own practice because of who I wanted to work with. I didn't wanna work with people that they told me I had to work with.
[00:09:40] Yeah. So that was just another area of balance in terms of how can I be best utilized? Right. How can I use my gifts really for good for. Like, not in for me, but for me in a sense, not for another company. Right. And so that's how my practice came into play. And I love that I get to make my own hours, which I was [00:10:00] doing before, cuz I was very clear at no matter what it was.
[00:10:03] Sure. So really when I talk about balance, it's, it's a part of you already. It's about where you're going to put it, where am I going to express this in these different areas. So having the practice is really no different from when I worked for the other companies.
[00:10:18] Ashley Comegys: Yeah. Well, it sounds like for you that is a boundary you've, I don't know if it's an, if it's naturally come to you or you've had to really work to make that a priority for you, but that that is something that you have identified as like, Nope, this is a non-negotiable for me, regardless of where I am or who I'm working with or for.
[00:10:38] Shayla Peterson: Yeah, it really is. I mean, that's a great way of putting it, that it is a boundary. And even with the women that I work with, or even all of my, I guess, ventures and businesses, we talk about the balance framework and that B, so I use the word balance, that B stands for boundary. Where are we putting this boundary?
[00:10:55] What do we keep saying yes to, or showing up to where we know that's, that's not [00:11:00] for us, it's not a space for us, and is it aligned with our values? And so the next one is the A. And we talk about acknowledging our feelings. A lot of time it's women, and depending on what kind of household you grew up in, you're not even talking about your feelings.
[00:11:14] When I grow up, you didn't have no space for feelings. What you feel, what you're fed. You have roof over your head. What are you talking about? You sad? Yeah. You mad? Oh, well, you know, it wasn't that. So I'm really like reprogramming a lot of people of just like, Hey, let's tap into that. Let's identify those.
[00:11:30] It's okay for you to feel it. Right. You know? Yeah. So we talk about acknowledging your feelings. What can we let go of? Do we have to do all the things? No, we can delegate a lot of that now. We can delegate laundry. We can delegate social media. We can have a va. Hey, these kids, if kids can get on a computer, they can empty out the dishwasher too.
[00:11:51] Right, right,
[00:11:53] Ashley Comegys: right, right. So
[00:11:55] Shayla Peterson: we can delegate to the kids, our husbands, they can do pickup. Yep. So really the [00:12:00] delegation or even connecting with other moms where you can swap, Hey, I dropped the kids off. Can you pick 'em up? You know, I'll give them breakfast if you can do the snacks. Yeah. Any of those things.
[00:12:09] Collaborating, right. Um, letting go of some of those things. And then of course the other A is aligning, you know, with our values being in alignment because it feels good when we're out of alignment. It doesn't feel right. We don't feel like our walk is natural, none of that. And the end is now we've changed.
[00:12:25] It used to be, no, but most recently I was like, it's the non-judgment. Mm-hmm. A lot of times we're judging our thoughts, our feelings, and it's like, what if we just accept them as is? What if it's just that I have on a dress. It's not a ugly dress. It's not a beautiful dress. It's just a dress. Yeah. And we can do that about our days too.
[00:12:44] Even those tough days. It was a day. Tomorrow is a new day. We don't have to keep judging. As soon as we put that judgment on it, it's gonna shift our mood to maybe somewhere we don't wanna go. Yeah. And so using that, and then the C is cultivating compassion and the E is [00:13:00] envisioning that future of a balanced life.
[00:13:02] So if I, I'm literally going through those daily, through all of my, all of my domains of wellness, right? Yeah. It's not there. And it allows me to do a shift, like what do I need to move around? If I look at it as a cargo ship, what do I need to move from the right side to the left side? Or what do I need to go into the port and drop off?
[00:13:20] Yeah, that might not be my thing I need to carry today.
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[00:14:13] Shayla Peterson: Hey, hey,
[00:14:14] Ashley Comegys: thanks. I think one of the things I know I definitely have experienced this at different places in life and I think a lot of us, I mean the pandemic is a perfect example where like you have no say of what's coming.
[00:14:29] I'm like, where? Where the car goes moving on the ship, right? Where all of a sudden you're like, I didn't put that there. Right? Like, and stuff gets really out of balance and I'm wondering, especially in motherhood, it can at times just feel. Overwhelming. I saw this thing on Instagram yesterday and I was like, oh my gosh, you're speaking to me.
[00:14:49] And it was talking about like, you aren't an angry mom. You're not like this mom filled with rage. You're overstimulated because you have. Three year old that has said, mom, mom, mom, 70 times [00:15:00] in the last two minutes, you have the TV blaring, you have a dishwasher that needs unloading, right? You have work that you still have to do and you're just overstimulated.
[00:15:08] And I think our world has become very overstimulating in a lot of ways. And when you are trying to balance, I'm in mom mode, I'm in work mode, and they can blend. And overlap a lot of times that, like I said, the cargo ship can, can be tipping and I'm wondering if you have a tip or recommendations of, we would love to be able to be like, I'm just clearing it all out and we're starting from scratch, but that's not always possible.
[00:15:34] How do we start to, you know, maybe tip the scales or slowly move things over so that it's not this greater sense of overwhelm of like, now it's one more thing I'm trying to do.
[00:15:45] Shayla Peterson: So one of the things, especially as moms, our list can get really long, right? Especially as working moms. And then if you wanna add on the entrepreneurship and then if you wanna add on it, um, as you're being a, as I call it, the independent mom, because maybe dad is away, all of [00:16:00] those things, our list can get pretty long.
[00:16:02] And the list is actually what's overwhelming our brain. Yeah. And so really cutting it down to just three things. Now, you may have 20 things on your list that you need to do, and they may be small things like little stuff like, all right, I gotta pick the toys up from the dog. I need to, you know, make the baby's bed or throw a load of laundry in.
[00:16:19] But pick your top three things that you're going to do, and that's what's on the paper first, after you complete those three tasks. Then we add another three tasks, but we're not seeing any more than three. Now, what does this do? It cuts down on the overwhelm. The second thing that it does too is now we have this sense of completion.
[00:16:38] I'm a big fan of small wins, right? It doesn't always have to be something big. The big win doesn't mean that we've completed everything on the list that day. Like it's these small wins that add up and you're just like, wow, I feel accomplished. I did those three things, and I know for me, I'm more apt to do them quickly when it's only three things.
[00:16:55] If I see 10 things on the list, I'm just gonna sit there. [00:17:00] I'm, I'm like, mm. Maybe later I'll get around to it, but seeing those three things, I'm like, oh, I can tackle this real quick. I have an hour. Oh my goodness. I can empty out the dishwasher, put the dishes in, get it going, and then move on to something else.
[00:17:14] So when I see the three, it's not as bad as seeing this long list, although we love long lists. So I really wanna change the game about women and men. Looking at lists on what it is that they have to do. You have to have several sheets of paper, but don't look at the other sheet until you finish those three that you have on there.
[00:17:32] So you know, that's one. The other thing is we have to create more opportunities for margin in our day. We love to pack our day from 8:00 AM until 5:00 PM Did you schedule a real lunch? Did you schedule a break? Something along the line like, where's the cushion to if you fall? What if something runs over?
[00:17:53] What if you just get tired? We have to create those margins, and so I think for [00:18:00] clinicians who may be hearing it, that margin could be maybe your sessions are 45 minutes instead of 53 minutes. Maybe it's a 9 0 8, 3, uh four instead of the three seven now, right? Yeah. Because we need that margin to go use the bathroom, eat a bagel really quickly, and actually take your time doing it, whatever it might be.
[00:18:21] Sure. To change that. Right? So creating more opportunities for, um, margins. Um, and so those would be my top two. That's typically just what I share is margins in the day and doing just your top three things. Yeah,
[00:18:36] Ashley Comegys: as you were talking about the margins, I was like, yes, that's what I've been, you know, needing, because you know, my husband and I were even talking about this recently, just with stuff changing with our family and with a kid going from daycare to kindergarten this next year, and it's gonna be different schedules.
[00:18:51] There's just gonna have to be some things that I pull back on my schedule in certain ways then like I'm actually okay with that. But really what it's doing is creating margins. [00:19:00] It's creating that space for the unknown, creating space for the unexpected so that it's not just this constant state of putting out fives internally and externally right.
[00:19:15] Of, of just going from one thing to the next.
[00:19:17] Shayla Peterson: Exactly. I mean I think we really undervalue how powerful having, you know, that margin is cuz we're used to probably working for companies that stack you day. Yeah. All day long. But if you're running your own business, you know, if you're a mom, you get to create that margin.
[00:19:33] Even for the kids when they were younger, didn't we set aside time for them to take a nap? But we don't set aside time for us. It doesn't have to be a nap, just any downtime. Sure. Whatever it's going to be. I tell my clients, I was like, you should have a lease and I know it's gonna sound extreme. Three hours of downtime somehow, and that can, and this is how you can steal it.
[00:19:51] Here's the pro tip, right? Get up hour, a hour earlier, that whole hour can be yours. Mm-hmm. I get up at five in the morning. Why? Because [00:20:00] no one else is up in my house. It's quiet. Mm-hmm. And I do my balance, 15 as hour, my balance hour, there's 15 minutes of stretching, yoga, something along that lines, 15 minutes of meditation, 15 minutes of reading a book, and then there's 15 minutes of journaling.
[00:20:15] So that all adds up to an hour. So that is my balance more every day. Yeah, every day, right? Not a weekend. I may sleep in a little bit, but I have even more time. On the weekend. I get more than an hour. Yeah. So it's the hour there. Then the lunch, that's, that's debatable for me, right? I'm still struggling in that area, but at the end of the day, once I get my daughter here and situat it, I literally go outside and sit for an hour.
[00:20:39] I make a nice cold ice lemonade, whatever, and I have to relax cause I have to separate from all the things and then I can come back, help her with her homework. Put that dinner together, whatever it may be, answer all her 10,000 questions that she might have. I know all the moms out there. Y'all know what I'm talking about.
[00:20:56] Yes. All the 10,000. Do you remember when you were seven? No, I don't. [00:21:00] I don't remember yesterday, honey.
[00:21:05] But I need that time. And then if you have a partner that's on board with that, they even know. He just goes, Hey, And then he walks out and then he'll check back in later. Like, I need that, we have to have that downtime. And so one of the things, even as I'm thinking about it, is when we talk about. You know, reducing like the adrenaline we have in our body, that anxiety, we need rest.
[00:21:27] We need relaxation and recreation and so we have to make time for those things and we have to be intentional about it. If not, you're gonna feel the anxiety at the end of the day. You're gonna feel like you just were going and going, yeah, going like that motor running. Or we say, you keyed up, you're gonna feel it if you don't, if you're not intentional about fixing that.
[00:21:46] Ashley Comegys: Right. One of the things you and I were talking about before, we share a lot of similarities in life. We are moms, we're both therapists. We also have other entrepreneurial endeavors outside of the therapy room. We both [00:22:00] have been married or are married to Milit. Well, we both are still married to them, but one of them is active duty, retire.
[00:22:06] Yes. Military service members. And I think one of the things that, you know, at least I can speak for myself, and I, I think it's similar for you. For me, creating some of the margins has been venturing into other things besides that one-on-one therapy, because like I said, I need more margins in my, my day and in my life just with my family's needs and, and my own needs too.
[00:22:31] Right? Like it's a lot to. Sit in therapy with clients. Not that I don't love it, but you, you just need some of that space. How have you used some of the other kind of adventures I'll call 'em, that you've gotten into to create some of those margins for yourself? Or have they filled the margins? I, you know, maybe.
[00:22:50] Maybe they have, I don't know exactly for you.
[00:22:53] Shayla Peterson: No, they have, cuz that's the purpose. And even if it's not as much margin as I would like, it's definitely getting [00:23:00] there. And so one of those things, and I do, I talk about this a lot because I do work with therapists as well, and you know, we talk about ways that they can become digital CEOs, um, have memberships, create products and books and you know, all the things.
[00:23:16] Um, that can require them to do more, or I shouldn't say require, but that allows them to do more of one to many work opposed to one to one, because guess what? That one-to-ones gonna burn us out if we even have a caseload of 20 that you see weekly. That's 20 hours right of their week. Right. Every week,
[00:23:37] Ashley Comegys: 20, that's not
[00:23:37] Shayla Peterson: even notes.
[00:23:39] That's woo. Shoot. That's a whole nother game. Thank you for that reminder. Yeah. Right. So that's not even included where me selling the Jesus book. Right. And it's not that I'm just selling a book, I'm selling also an. Experience of like, Hey, are you ready to like reflect on your experiences? Are you ready to like really start [00:24:00] like jotting down your emotions, you know, in between your therapy sessions or you just haven't made it to therapy yet?
[00:24:06] And so what a great way to extend who we are professionally. To either create a book, I have a membership for therapists and this was birthed out of the pandemic. During that time I was doing therapy, of course, like from my home office. Um, and even before the pandemic actually, and I was meeting with therapists.
[00:24:24] You were one of them. We would get on Mondays and guess what? Yeah, my. My membership, we still meet on Mondays. I have not let that go. So here we are three years later, still meeting on Mondays, but now instead of me meeting eight therapists all day long on a Monday, I get to meet several therapists at once.
[00:24:43] Yeah, and actually receive some reoccurring payment from it, which makes it awesome because I get to share the skills that I know also get to have my self-care because I'm taking a break and being intentional about it. My social wellness, I've grown my network. I'm [00:25:00] continuing to connect with them and yet again, get to share my skills along with my business partner too.
[00:25:05] So we get to be intentional about the time that we spent. So that's. There's the book, there's the membership, there's courses, and then most importantly, now it's like I've been teaching other therapists that they can do this. Yeah, you can have, I like to call it life work balance cuz I'm not working first.
[00:25:20] I'm Lifeing first, right? Yeah. I do not wanna be controlled by my work, so my life work balances. I wanna teach other therapists. How can they expand their mental health business and have their own membership their way. What it bring. There's no, there's no rules. You created how you want, like we both have memberships and I guarantee you your membership structure and setup is completely different from how their league society is.
[00:25:46] Yeah. And yet there's still awesome communities empowering, yet again, women, yeah. Doing awesome things and exchanging ideas like this is great. I get excited.
[00:25:57] Ashley Comegys: Right, right. Well, and I think. [00:26:00] This is where like the empowerment piece comes for me of encouraging listeners that you can do that. I think a lot of times I see this with so many therapists and, and even just women in general, like we ask permission where we don't have to, where like, am I allowed to do this?
[00:26:17] Yes, yes. If you wanna do it, you can do it. Right? Like, I mean, there's things obviously like within. Our therapist hat, right? Like, no, you can't do that. But there's a lot that we can do and you know, to ask yourself, am I asking for permission because I genuinely don't know the answer to this or because I.
[00:26:39] There's some kind of internal dialogue going on there, or I'm afraid of judgment or self-judgment or shaming or whatnot, but that you can do this, right? Like and, and to your point that you can create that balance where you want to, where you need to, not because somebody else is saying, well, this is the kind of client you have to see, or these are the [00:27:00] hours you have to work.
[00:27:00] You get to call the shots.
[00:27:02] Shayla Peterson: I get to call the shots. I have consultation. Everybody who comes to my door, I still do my consultations. Um, usually I have a 90% turnover rate in terms of meaning that they decide to do therapy with me. Yeah. Whether they're using their, um, well they can't use their insurance with me, but even if they thought that they were, they end up, you know, transforming to like, Hey, private pay can be a good choice.
[00:27:22] Sure. Um, Because you know, I know that I can offer them what they need. I can help them. They're gonna feel some relief, you know? Yeah. With a quick turnaround for that. And then that if they're not a good match for me and they wanna use their insurance, that I can refer them to someone else. That I also have courses that can be helpful to them.
[00:27:40] Like, okay, let's conquer those negative thoughts. How can we be more mindful having alternatives? We have to think outside the box, I think, a little bit. Mm-hmm. But if we're working 40 hours, It's hard to think outside the box because you don't have the brain capacity or the time cuz you work 40 hours for someone else and you gotta turn around and go home and be mama and [00:28:00] wife.
[00:28:00] Yeah,
[00:28:01] Ashley Comegys: yeah. It's home. Yeah. Yeah. And when there's not that space, you know, to again have the margins then like where are you supposed to have that downtime? And I think to remember when you are working for yourself. We're so used to the 40 hour work week. That's what like has been ingrained in us for so long and that going into being a business owner and an entrepreneur, yes, your hours are may look different.
[00:28:30] I know like I worked late hours for a while cuz it worked well for me and it's what I needed and what my family needed, but I didn't work then at. Anytime during the day. Right. Like it's just what I needed. But it doesn't also have to mean 40 hours is 40 hours direct contact with clients. Mm-hmm. You don't have to do that.
[00:28:49] You can find a schedule and, and a system and a balance that works for you, A balance between therapy clients, an additional [00:29:00] endeavor or your family too. Right. Of where, where this all fits together.
[00:29:05] Shayla Peterson: Yeah. And those, if you know, if you're listening to the podcast and if you're also part of Ashley's membership, that meant you've also got the scrolling with purpose and you know your brand is showing up and it's just like, yeah.
[00:29:17] What a great way to utilize your extra endeavors to show up on social media that way As lit. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Um, and I think that's been really helpful as it relates to like promoting the other things that I'm doing, whether it's the membership, um, whether it's the book, whether it's courses, whether it's connecting with other people and consulting.
[00:29:38] I also do consulting, so I help other mental health businesses, you know, get their back off as straightened up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And so I really enjoy that because once again, those can be things I can do online. I don't have to be present for that. Sure. The me membership, I can do that anywhere. I can be on the beach having a meeting.
[00:29:56] Yeah. With my folks. Now, some of these things we can't do with [00:30:00] therapy, right? We, and so when we talk about things being balanced, well if I see 10 therapy clients, but then I have X amount of people in my membership, I sell this or I do that, that makes my ship run so smooth. Yeah,
[00:30:18] Ashley Comegys: yeah. No, absolutely.
[00:30:20] Absolutely. And it, the cargo is, um, shifted not just to one end, and that the, the ship is tipping and Right. We're
[00:30:28] Shayla Peterson: not tipping, then we gotta move real fast, like move things over. And so that's another thing too, and I don't know if I said it in the beginning, but even when I talk about balance, like there's folks that go, there's no such thing as balance.
[00:30:38] And I'm like, you're right. I'm not gonna argue with you. Mm-hmm. But the way I look at it is that the balance part is us recognizing when things are off. Mm-hmm. And having the wisdom to move things around so we can feel right. Because if you keep operating that way, when things are off, we're gonna be out of alignment.
[00:30:56] Now that's gonna affect our wellbeing, our mental health, and how [00:31:00] we start to show up for all of those other things that we have to do. And
[00:31:04] Ashley Comegys: burnout is just right around the corner.
[00:31:06] Shayla Peterson: Right there. It's next. Yeah.
[00:31:07] Ashley Comegys: Yeah. Shayla, if our listeners wanna learn more about your work or about your offerings, or connect with you, where's the best place for them to find you?
[00:31:18] Shayla Peterson: The best place would be Instagram that is, um, probably where I spend majority of my time connecting with others. And I don't spend a lot of time, but that's the time that I, I feel like it's easy to connect with others and you can hear a lot more of me. And so my Instagram page is control Shift Balance and that is C T R L, shift balance.
[00:31:40] Um, and that is a great place to connect with me and I look forward to connecting with you guys.
[00:31:44] Ashley Comegys: I always love chatting with you, and I'm so glad that I get to share you with the world. I know my listeners, um, and just, you know, how much I enjoy you in your presence. So thank you so much for taking time today to, to share your wisdom and [00:32:00] your experience with us.
[00:32:01] Shayla Peterson: Yes. No, thank you for having me and I'm looking forward to our in-person lunch again.
[00:32:06] Ashley Comegys: Yes. We need to get on the calendar.
[00:32:09] Shayla Peterson: Yes. Get on the calendar. But um, yeah, I know there's some great therapists out there doing, um, some awesome work and they're looking to, you know, how can they keep that balance right, the life work balance.
[00:32:19] Yeah. And um, You know, have some reoccurring income and there's opportunities. There's things out there, so closed mouths don't get fed. Say something so we can help.
[00:32:28] Ashley Comegys: Yeah. Yeah. Think outside the box and don't be afraid to do so. Yes. Thanks so much, Shayla. Thank you so much for listening to the Raise to Empower podcast.
[00:32:39] Check the show notes for all links and resources mentioned in the show. If you found today's episode helpful or inspiring, be sure to share it with your therapist friends, and don't forget to subscribe to the show and leave your five star rating and review. It truly means so much to me and will help us get our message of empowerment out to other women and mom clinicians, [00:33:00] and I'd love to connect with you in our Facebook community.
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